


The Art Of Healing

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Episode Related, No Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-10-09
Updated: 2003-10-09
Packaged: 2018-12-26 21:20:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12067197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: With love and affectionBrian helps Justin get his life back.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

Brian couldn’t believe the one eighty Jennifer Taylor was pulling. It wasn’t even twenty four hours later that she had ordered him to stay away from her son. Now she was all but begging him to take him off her hands, unfucking believable. Secretly he was glad, now he’d be able to spend time with Justin and make sure he was alright. He’d make sure he got the best care possible.

 

Brian arrived at the Taylor residence in the early afternoon. He knocked on the door and Jennifer let him in with a stiff nod. 

 

“Justin, Brian’s here” she called out. 

 

Brian watched Justin make his way down the stairs. He carried one suitcase. Most of his stuff was still waiting for him at the loft. Justin smiled but somehow Brian saw that the smile didn’t quite reach his sparkling blue eyes. 

 

“Hey Brian.” 

 

“Hey Sunshine, why don’t you take that out to the Jeep? I’ll be right there. I’m sure you come with a whole bunch of instructions and how to care for papers.” 

 

Justin rolled his eyes and headed for the front door. 

 

Jennifer gathered up Justin’s pills and a neatly written out instruction sheet. 

 

“Here’s his pills and the times he should take them. Make sure he takes the pain pill. He gets terrible migraines and needs to be in a dark quiet place when one comes on. He’s been very emotional. His mood swings are all over the place and he has nightmares nearly every night.” 

 

“Well I don’t need much sleep. I wasn’t planning on sleeping tonight anyway, just in case he needs me. I’ll take care of him. He’ll be fine, he’s the strongest kid I know.” 

 

“Brian he’s going to be a handful. I hope you know what you’re getting into and I want you to call me if there’s a problem. He won’t go out into crowds and touching him has been nearly impossible.” 

 

“We’ll work on that and he’ll be fine.” 

 

Brian stuffed the bottles of pills in his leather jacket and folded up the instructions list, He stuffed it into the side pocket. As Brian made his way to the jeep he could see Justin was struggling with the seatbelt. Had he been struggling with it the whole time? He got in on the drivers side. 

 

“Fuck!” Justin shouted. 

 

Brian took the belt from him and easily snapped it in place. 

 

“I got it.” 

 

As Brian drove back to the loft Justin cheered up some but he was acting bratty and immature, a side that Brian rarely ever saw. When Hobbs’ name came up he became sullen. When Brian pulled into his parking space he unlatched Justin’s belt then his own. He got the suitcase out of the back. They walked in silence to the elevator. Justin became quiet and almost withdrawn. When they got into the elevator Justin huddled in a corner away from him. Brian decided to let it drop for now. 

 

Brian unlocked the loft and Justin slowly walked in. His eyes trailed around the loft like he’d never seen it before or he was trying to see if anything had changed since he last stayed here. Justin took his suitcase and wandered up to the bedroom and started to unpack. Brian placed his pills on the counter. He sat down and skimmed over the instructions. He checked the time and saw that it would soon be time for Justin to take a pill. 

 

Brian looked up when Justin left the bedroom. He noticed he’d put on his hoodie sweatshirt on top of the long sleeved shirt he was already wearing. Justin huddled into a ball at one end of the couch. He crossed over to where Justin was and crouched down. 

 

“What’s the matter?” 

 

“Nothing, I’m just cold.” 

 

“Oh, so why you so quiet? Normally you never shut up.” 

 

Justin smiled slightly. “I just don’t feel like talking.” 

 

Brian got up. 

 

“Brian, thank you for letting me stay here with you. Mom was just making it worse. She was suffocating me.” 

 

“You can always come here when you need to.” 

 

Brian flipped up the hood on Justin’s sweater without touching him. He yanked down on the strings, smiling he looked at Justin. He looked like a little boy sitting there. 

 

“Awe don’t you look cute.” 

 

“Brian,” Justin giggled as he loosened the strings. 

 

Brian made his way into the kitchen and made them each a turkey sandwich. He brought it to Justin with an already opened bottle of water. He anticipated ahead of time that he might have trouble twisting off the cap. Justin picked at his sandwich. 

 

“Justin it’s a sandwich even I can’t fuck that up. You need to eat something so you can take your meds.” 

 

The silence was getting to Brian. He needed to create a pleasant diversion to distract Justin and it couldn’t be sex, hmm that was a stumper. Then Brian had an idea and smiled. He went over to the TV and slipped in Justin’s favorite tape into the VCR. The Yellow Submarine began to play. Brian could see the tense muscles start to relax and more of Justin’s sandwich disappeared. He dropped a pill into Justin’s hand and watched as he took it. Then he wandered over to his desk to try to get some work done. Maybe Justin just needed a little time to himself. Even though Brian had a mandatory week off from work he still planned on staying on top of everything. 

 

 

Justin knew he was probably being painfully obvious. When he went into the bathroom he just couldn’t help going slowly. He took his time brushing his teeth and going to the bathroom. Justin didn’t know why he felt dread but he knew Brian would want to have sex. He wanted to too but he just didn’t think he could handle it right now. He longed to be in Brian’s arms but touching felt odd. It was hard to explain how he felt. The pressure of someone else’s skin against yours just freaked him out. He hoped it would pass quickly. Brian loved to touch and be touched. If he denied Brian who knew how long he’d be welcome here. 

 

He took a deep breath and exited the safe haven of the bathroom. He dressed in shorts and one of his long sleeve shirts. Brian was there waiting for him naked on the bed. Justin crawled into bed but huddled on the edge far away from Brian. He just couldn’t shake the uncertainty and fear. Brian would never hurt him that wasn’t even an issue. 

 

“What are you doing all the way over there? Come closer.” 

 

Justin tentatively slid closer. 

 

“You want to take off some of those clothes? You might get overheated.” 

 

With a little laugh he pulled off his shirt and wiggled out of his shorts letting the discarded clothes drop to the side of the bed. Brian leaned in and tentatively kissed Justin. The kiss was nice so when Brian requested that he roll over he did. Maybe he could do this after all and everything would be fine. Justin felt the heat of Brian’s body enveloping him. The crackle and tear of the condom wrapper seemed loud in the quiet loft. All to soon he could feel Brian pressing against his entrance. He felt himself tense. He couldn’t calm down enough to relax, his senses were reeling. 

 

Justin flinched “No don’t, don’t I can’t” he choked out. 

 

As soon as he was free of Brian’s weight he moved to the edge of the bed. He hung his head in embarrassment and quietly sobbed in frustration. Why couldn’t he just be normal? He felt Brian sitting next to him. 

 

“It’s ok” Brian whispered. 

 

“No it’s not” Justin whimpered. 

 

He put his hand out. He ached to touch the trembling shoulder but his hand fell short. He wanted to take Justin in his arms and comfort him but right now that would do more harm than good. It was stupid of him to try to fuck Justin when he clearly wasn’t ready. Again he fucked up. Is anybody surprised? 

 

Brian got up and went to the bathroom closing the door. He’d give Justin a little time to himself while he took care of a growing need. He stripped off the unused condom and threw it away. His cock was still hard as a rock. As he took his cock in his hand he imagined Justin’s sweet full lips around him. Justin gave the best blow jobs ever. He may have taught him the formalities but Justin turned it into a form of art. Thinking of Justin caused pre cum to seep out of his slit. He spread it along his shaft, fisting his cock with long even strokes. His other hand palmed his full sac, tugging gently he stifled a moan. Brian brushed his thumb over his weeping slit causing delicious sensations. His back arched and his mouth fell open, he was real close. Just a few more tugs and he exploded. Creamy cum shot out of his pulsating dick and landed in the toilet bowl. After he got his breath back he flushed and washed his hands. It was very unsatisfying but a least he got rid of the steel bar between his legs. Maybe now he could think more clearly. 

 

Justin was still curled up where he left him. He went around the bed and found his jeans tugging them on. 

 

“Are you mad at me?” Justin asked quietly. 

 

“No why would I be mad? I screwed up. It was way too soon.” 

 

“Are you going out?” 

 

“No, I just put on some pants. I’m going to sit right here with you until you fall asleep. Now just lay back and relax. You’re probably exhausted.” 

 

“What about you?” 

 

“Don’t worry about me.” 

 

Brian tucked Justin into the middle of the big bed. He grabbed a washcloth from the bathroom and wet it. He came back and gently whipped away the remnants of tonight’s tears. 

 

“Kiss you goodnight?” Brian asked hesitantly. 

 

Justin nodded slightly. Brian leaned over slowly and gently grazed his lips with a sweet kiss. Justin settled back and closed his eyes. Brian sat there and watching over his boy. This wasn’t a chore he minded doing, he liked to watch Justin sleep. He always looked so young and innocent laying there. It made him want to protect him even more. He couldn’t pretend he knew what Justin was going through exactly but it still hurt like hell to be rejected. He was Brian Kinney for fucks sake. He didn’t get rejected. It was in the realm of impossibility. 

 

After Justin had been asleep for awhile Brian headed out to Woody’s. He didn’t intend on leaving Justin long in case he was needed. Brian knew when he was in over his head and this was one of those times. He sought out a shrink he knew frequented there often. He was skeptical of the advice he received. How the hell was he suppose to trigger his memory. 

 

On his way home he stopped in a store to pick up a little gift for Justin. He didn’t know weather he was drunk or just tired to posses him to do such a thing. He figured if he couldn’t hold him maybe this would be the next best thing. 

 

Brian entered the loft quietly and went up to check on Justin, he seemed to be ok. Brian placed the stuffed brown bear in his arms. In his sleep he seemed to snuggle up to it. He then stopped off to the medicine cabinet to take something that would keep him awake. He remembered that he had some old books in his storage closet that might be of help. Sitting on the floor he went through a carton of books that he had kept from his college days. He found the one he was looking for and took it to the couch to flip through. It was a workbook type of book on sex and relations. Brian figured this would be more Justin’s speed when he saw what the first activity was. The first activity was holding hands on a bed fully clothed for ten minutes. Brian groaned inwardly. It all sounded painfully tedious. 

 

Brian heard noises coming from the bedroom. He rushed to Justin’s side. The boy was in the throes of a bad nightmare. He was crying out in his sleep and beads of sweat dotted his forehead. Without thinking Brian grabbed him by the shoulders to shake him awake. As Justin was awoken from his dream his hand flailed out and struck Brian. 

 

“Fuck!” Brian hissed. 

 

“Brian oh God did I hit you?” 

 

“Yeah don’t worry about it. I guess I’ll have to find a safer way to wake you up. You were having a nightmare.” 

 

“Did I hurt you?” Justin cringed at what he’d done. 

 

“Little bit, you got a wicked swing.” 

 

“Brian would you stay with me?” 

 

“Sure.” 

 

Brian began to strip off his clothes and crawl into bed making sure not to crowd Justin. Justin noticed the bear by him and frowned. He held up the bear for Brian to see. 

 

“Is this Gus’ bear?” 

 

“No.” 

 

Justin smirked “then what is it doing in your bed?” 

 

“I got it for you. You won’t let me touch you so I thought maybe that would be something non-threatening you could hold on to till its ok for me to touch you again.” 

 

Justin smiled down at the bear in his arms. “Awe Brian that’s so sweet.” 

 

“If you tell anyone I swear I will deny it.” 

 

Justin hugged the bear close to him smiling. “I’m going to call him Brian.” 

 

Brian rolled his eyes. “How original.” Brian propped himself up on his arms so he could look at Justin. “Do you want to tell me about it?” 

 

“It was just a stupid dream. I wish I could control them. It was dark mostly, I got a sense of being alone, cold and scared.” 

 

“It’ll pass, think you can go to sleep now?” 

 

Justin shrugged “what about you? Don’t you have work tomorrow?” 

 

“No they gave me a mandatory week off. They didn’t want the bad publicity." 

 

“Oh.” 

 

“It’s ok I can work from here and that just means more time I get to spend with you.” 

 

Justin smiled “well when you put it that way it doesn’t sound nearly as bad.” 

 

“Get some sleep Sonny boy I’m not going any where.” 

 

Brian laid there for the rest of the night keeping watch over Justin like he use to do at the hospital, only this time Justin was aware of his presence. 

 

Come morning Brian’s eyes felt like led. He needed some coffee to kick start his system. Justin slept through the rest of the night without any problems thankfully. When Justin got up he poured him some cereal. Justin ate with his left hand. If he wasn’t so tired he might have laughed. He looked like Gus when he attempted to eat. It was awkward for him to use his other hand. Justin sat quietly reading the paper while Brian worked on his third cup of coffee. 

 

“Brian did I really have this coming to me? Did I flaunt myself?” 

 

“Justin nobody deserves to be bashed. What the hell are you reading?” He snatched the paper away and noticed yet another article on the prom incident. “Ok, no more of this.” He threw the paper in the trash. “The people who think you deserved this are fucking idiots. Ok, you did nothing wrong so don’t even try blaming yourself.” 

 

Justin sat there quietly. 

 

 

Brian spent the day trying to get Justin to remember something, anything. Justin felt bad, Brian was trying so hard and he looked worn out and tired. He wished he could remember something. He felt nothing when Brian took him to the parking garage where it happened. He thought maybe he’d be at least a little afraid. It all felt like a story to him that happened to someone else. He could see how upset Brian was getting. It must have been awful for Brian, holding him on the cold cement and watching his blood pour out of his head. Brian was shaking and barely suppressing his tears. Justin wished he could allow himself to hold Brian. No one seamed to care how Brian faired in all of this. He didn’t come out of this unscathed either. 

 

Back at the loft they tossed the nerf ball back and forth. His hand was stiff and it was hard to grip the ball. When his hand began to tremble he allowed Brian to massage his hand to loosen up the muscles. Brian’s touch was light and gentle. When he was done Justin gripped his hand as best he could in a light squeeze. He looked into Brian’s eye’s trying to convey how much he appreciated the man. 

 

That night in bed Brian hesitated to bring up Gus’ party. He knew he’d have a tough time getting him there if down right impossible. Lindsay called him earlier requesting that he and Justin both be at the party. 

 

“Justin, Lindsay wants us both at Gus’ birthday party. She knows you can’t be around crowds yet. She said we could be on the porch just you and me and watch the festivities from there.” 

 

Justin sighed “Brian, I really don’t want to go. I love Gus and I want to be there for him, but I just don’t think I can do it.” 

 

“I’m not going to force you. If you don’t want to go I’m sure Lindz will understand.” 

 

“Your going aren’t you? You’re not going to stay here and babysit me are you?” 

 

“Well it would be the perfect excuse.” 

 

“Brian, no, you can’t miss your son’s first birthday.” 

 

“He won’t know the difference.” 

 

“Well I will and I’m not going to be the cause of you missing something as important as that.” 

 

“Justin your health is way more important than a party. If you don’t think you can handle it don’t push it.” 

 

“I’ll go if you promise no people hovering over me and you wont leave my side the entire time.” 

 

“Geeze what if I have to piss?” Brian smirked. 

 

Justin laughed “then I’ll be right there with you.” 

 

Brian sighed “all right it’s a deal. You have to promise something too, if at anytime you need to leave just say the word and we're out of there ok?” 

 

“I promise, I can’t believe Gus is already a year old.” 

 

“Uhhh I don’t want to think about it.” 

 

Justin nudged his shoulder a bit. “You're not old Brian, you’ll be handsome forever.” 

 

 

Brian kept his word no one approached them when they arrived at the party. He felt like a freak that everyone had to tip toe around. With Brian nearby he didn’t feel as uneasy. They could see the party from the porch. He felt bad that Brian couldn’t be down where his son was, helping him open his presents. Brian had assured him this was where he wanted to be. He was never big on birthdays to begin with. 

 

He smiled slightly when he heard Brian telling Lindsay if she made a man out of his son he was going to hold her personally responsible. That’s when he saw the toy bat swing through the air. He suddenly went cold inside and had trouble breathing. Flashes of a bat flew across his vision and he swore he heard the crack of a bat. 

 

Brian happened to glance at Justin. The color had drained from the boy’s face and he was swaying on his feet.

 

“Justin.”

 

He was at his side in seconds holding him close. Fuck, he had forgotten about the bat. He must be remembering something. A war waged in Justin. He wanted Brian to hold him and yet he didn’t want to be touched. His hand pressed against Brian’s strong chest allowing some space between them while letting Brian hold him. Brian backed him into the house away from prying eyes. He sank down on the couch. The whole time Brian murmured comforting words into his ear.

 

“Brian my head hurts I need a pill.”

 

“Ok, I brought them with me but I have to get you some water. Do you want to stay here or come with me.”

 

“Just get me some water please.”

 

“I’ll be right back baby, hang on.”

 

As soon as Brian left the room for the kitchen Michael came in the house and saw Justin sitting on the couch. He couldn’t help but put in his comments.

 

“You should have just stayed home Justin. While Brian is taking care of you he’s missing his own son’s birthday.”

 

Brian bore daggers into his friend. “Get away from him Mikey, you don’t know shit.”

 

Justin’s arms were wrapped around himself like he were freezing and he was rocking back and forth. Brian pressed the pill to his lips and he took it. Justin was shaking to badly to hold the water so Brian held it for him while he took slow sips. Brian didn’t even notice when Mikey had left but he was glad he was gone. Somehow Brian managed to get Justin to the Jeep without calling to much attention to himself. He got him up to the loft and tucked him into bed. In a sick sort of way he was glad that something finally had a reaction on Justin. He just wished Justin didn’t have to go through this. He almost gagged when he saw Justin’s reaction to the bat. It made him relive his own private hell. He could still hear the sickening crack of the bat hitting flesh and the hollow clatter of it when it was dropped against the cement floor.

 

Justin was out like a light but he kept within seeing distance of the bedroom. Justin had a hard day and he wanted to be there if he needed him. Brian dialed Jennifer’s number and spoke quietly into the phone.

 

“It’s Brian I just wanted to tell you I think he’s finally remembered something. He was doing fine at the party till he saw a little toy bat. I guess that was the trigger. He’s resting now, he really freaked out. I’ll talk with him when he wakes up. I think he’s doing a little better. He let me hold him for a while.”

 

The loft was dark so Justin could rest. Brian did some cleaning up in the kitchen to alleviate some of the stress he was feeling. He worked by one of the small kitchen lights. When he looked up from his obsessive cleaning he noticed that Justin was sitting up in bed. He turned off the rest of the lights and made his way up to the bedroom.

 

“Feeling better now?”

 

“Mm hmm.”

 

He sat next to Justin on the bed uncertain of what to say and afraid to revel his feelings. 

 

“You really freaked me out.”

 

Justin chuckled “what you?”

 

There was a sad note in Brian’s voice. “It was like you got hit all over again.”

 

“I remember walking away and suddenly hearing your voice call my name. You tried to save me.” 

 

“But I didn’t.”

 

Justin’s voice was firm. “You tried, that’s all that matters. I don’t blame you and I don’t regret our dance together, I just wish I could remember it.”

 

Justin scooted closer and leaned in for a gentle kiss. Brian watched him intently wondering how far this would go. Justin whispered so close to his face he could feel his breath.

 

“I want you inside me.”

 

“Are you sure?” Brian said softly with uncertainty in his voice.

 

Justin marveled at the childlike quality that Brian was displaying. Brian was actually afraid of being rejected again. That he would turn him away again. He was ready to touch and be touch by only Brian.

 

“Yeah, just take it easy.” Justin pleaded with his eyes.

 

“Like the first time?”

 

Slowly they undressed, Brian was ever so gentle. He turned Justin onto his side and ever so slowly entered him. He was prepared to stop at any time if Justin showed any signs of distress. He placed his hand on his hip, his smooth hip for balance and control. With every slow stroke he said not in words but in deed “I love you.” What they were doing wasn’t fucking it was making love. Justin turned his head arching back so he could kiss his lover. Their hands twined together, grounding each other. Brian planted little kisses along Justin’s swan like neck. Justin never looked more beautiful than at this moment. Brian could hear the little sighs of pleasure Justin was making and he knew everything would be ok.

 

“Brian don’t cum yet. I need to feel you.”

 

“I won’t baby not until you give the ok. I promise just relax, tonight is your night.”

 

Brian intermittently moved within him then stopped to let him feel that he is there, also to fight off the urge to cum. Brian started to move them into a position where he could rub Justin’s cock but Justin tensed up so he remained still.

 

“I just want you inside me anything more would be to much to soon.”

 

“Ok, just relax, this is fine just the way it is.”

 

As Brian moved within him he whispered sweet soothing words. His cock straining and the urge to cum was becoming persistently painful. This was the longest he’d ever gone without cuming.

 

“Justin baby, as much as I’d like to stay in you forever that’s physically impossible. I need to cum soon. It’s been an hour, please let me cum.”

 

Justin hears the pleading tone in Brian’s voice and nod’s his consent. Brian thrust’s a few times and cried out Justin’s name with an animalistic groan. Justin turnd in his arms and kissed him. Brian noticed Justin didn’t get off.

 

“You didn’t cum. Do you want me to get you off?”

 

“Yes, I want to feel your mouth on my dick.” 

 

Brian slowly moved down Justin’s body. His head was between the boy’s parted thighs. He let his tongue and mouth suck and caress Justin’s shaft. His tongue curled around the sensitive tip then plunged down the shaft. It didn’t take much more before Justin was cuming down his throat with little mewls and whimpers. Crawling back up he kissed Justin. Unshed tears sparkled in Justin’s eyes. 

 

“Brian hold me?” 

 

Brian closed his eyes in a prayer of thanks. 

 

“I thought you’d never ask.” He said with a little laugh. 

 

Brian pulled him into his arms and held him tight, relishing the feel of his baby, relieved that he could once again hold him. Justin snuggled up to him and fell into an easy restful sleep. Brian looked over at the bear that was sitting on the nightstand and smiled. Justin’s own relaxed breathing lulled Brian to sleep. It was the first night he felt he could let his guard down long enough to actually get a good nights rest.


	2. The Art Of Healing

Brian didn’t know how he was going to get Justin to be able to be in crowds and around people again. He knew they needed to start working on it if Justin was going to attend PIFA in the fall. He was committed and willing to do anything to get Justin back to the happy boy he was. Justin had been keeping himself quietly entertained on the couch when Brian approached him. 

 

“Hey Sunny boy how about going with me for a little walk?” 

 

Brian could see the teen immediately tense up. 

 

“Outside?” 

 

“No around the loft, of course outside ,it’s a nice day out. You need some fresh air.” 

 

“Do I have to?” Justin pleaded with his eyes that were so full of fear it was breaking Brian’s heart to look at him. 

 

“Justin you’ll be safe, I’ll be with you. We won’t even go that far. You can’t stay in the tower forever little princess.” 

 

Justin rolled his eyes smiling “Brian.” 

 

He thought for a moment. “Will you hold my hand?” 

 

Brian thought he could spare a little of his dignity if it meant getting Justin on the road to recovery. 

 

“Whatever it takes to make you feel safe.” He meant it to. 

 

Brian held out his hand and Justin hesitantly took it. They took the stairs slowly. Brian could feel Justin’s trembling body next to his. With every step towards the front door Justin’s fear became like a vice in his chest. His heart thundered in his chest. He was becoming the color of pale milk and a light sweat broke out on his brow. When Brian got him to the front door Justin stopped in his tracks. 

 

“No, no, please, I can’t Brian. I...I’m sorry I just can’t.” 

 

Justin broke away from him and ran back up to the loft. Brian sighed to himself as he climbed the stairs. One step forward twenty back. When he entered the loft Justin was in the kitchen throwing up in the sink. His body was trembling like a leaf. Brian put his arms around him to steady him. Justin snuggled into Brian’s arms. They sank to the kitchen floor. Brian held him in his arms and gently rocked him. His thumb traced slow circles on the back of his neck soothing him. Justin looked up into hazel eyes. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. What was there to say? Without words Brian hugged him closer letting him know it was all right. They sat like that for nearly a half hour before the hard floor got the better of them. 

 

Brian decided Justin needed a distraction. (no not that kind of distraction.) He’d distract him with one of Justin’s favorite movies. The really long one, seven hours long. Justin loved the 10th Kingdom. It was a movie that he always got caught up in. It was all faerie tales, fantasy and happily ever afters. Also Justin thought the guy who played “wolf” was hot. Brian had to admit he was kinda hot, he’d fuck him tail and all. 

 

Brian started the movie and sat down on the couch sideways. He opened his legs creating a space for Justin to sit. Brian noticed that Justin was holding the bear he had got for him. Today must have really been tough for him. Brian snagged the throw and covered Justin with it. He was settled snugly between his legs, his back resting against his chest. After the bashing Justin always seemed cold. Brian was always there with a soft blanket and his own added body heat. 

 

They had watched half of the movie. Neither was sure who started it but they made out like teenagers. It went no further than the heated kisses and occasional fondling. Justin was mentally and physically drained. 

 

 

Justin was in a dark cold place all alone and scared. He tried looking for Brian but he couldn’t move. Frantically glancing around told him that he was alone. He didn’t feel alone though. He heard a clattering noise that was steadily coming towards him. It was a baseball bat. It rolled next to his foot. It had blood on it. Some how he knew it must be his. Then suddenly his dream changed. He was in a bright garden with blinding brilliant flowers. Justin saw an arch of red roses and standing there smiling at him was Brian with his arms held out to him.

 

Brian had taken to sleeping lightly or not at all because of the nightmares Justin had nearly every night. Justin’s cries of distress and whimpers woke him instantly. He learned from past mistake not to shake him. He began to rub his back in slow circles and murmured soothing words into his ear. Brian gently thumbed away the tears that had leaked out onto his face. Slowly Justin began to settle down and drift into a more peaceful sleep. He knew the worst was over when he saw a small smile curve Justin’s lips. Brian wondered what he was dreaming about. Maybe he was dreaming about a gigantic cock, no that was usually his dreams. Brian shrugged to himself. He didn’t care as long as the nightmares stopped. 

 

 

Justin was truly the strongest person Brian knew. Just the other day Justin was puking his guts out at the mere thought of walking among the crowds. Today Brian had his arms securely wrapped around Justin and they were walking down the street from his loft. Justin was doing well but he was trembling like a leaf and he had a death grip around his waist that would probably leave a mark. He didn’t want to push it so they only walked down the street and back. 

 

Once Justin got back to the loft he began to relax and his breathing returned to normal. Brian sat down and began to massage Justin’s trembling hand. He worked the muscles so they would relax and not be so stiff. 

 

“I think you deserve a little treat since you were such a good boy today.” 

 

Justin’s ears perked up at the word treat and noted the playfulness in Brian voice. 

 

“What kind of treat?” 

 

“How about we work on your hand therapy?” 

 

Justin made a face. “That doesn’t sound like a treat to me.” 

 

“Oh ye of little faith, trust me, you’ll like this. Don’t you know by now I can make anything fun and enjoyable?” 

 

Justin considered this and wondered what Brian had in mind. Brian led him over to the chaise; he kissed him deeply then began removing his clothes. Justin stood before Brian naked. Justin sat on the chase and watched as Brian removed his clothes making a sexy show of removing each item. He then sat on the end of the chaise lounge facing Justin. 

 

Brian grinned “lets get to work shall we? I want you to touch yourself Justin. I want to watch you jerk yourself off with your right hand.” 

 

“Brian.” 

 

“You can do it.” 

 

He took Justin’s right hand and placed in on Justin’s straining erection. Justin awkwardly curled his hand around his member and began to stroke his cock as Brian watched him. His eyes never left Brian’s as he pleasured himself. Although with his hand was still not working right, it didn’t feel nearly as good. Brian joined in mirroring Justin’s movements with his own cock. Justin ran his hand down the length of his cock then back up again. He played with the sensitive tip till pre cum bubbled from his slit wetting his hand. He used it as lube. Brian was incredibly turned on by this. 

 

Justin sped up, fisting his cock with faster strokes. His hand was quickly tiring and he could feel tingles of numbness in his hand and wrist. He was so close he could taste it. 

 

“Brian” Justin moaned. “Help me out?” He shook his hand indicating the problem. 

 

“You got another hand use it” Brian panted. 

 

“Please, Bri I need to cum.” 

 

Justin was giving him an utterly pathetic look. He decided to take pity on him. He moved closer bringing their dicks together and began stroking them both while rubbing them together. It was like having one big enormous cock which turned Brian on even more. Brian arched his back crying out in a feral growl. They drenched each other in thick ropy streams of cum. 

 

When Justin found is voice he was able to get out, “I like your idea of therapy.” 

 

Brian panted “see I knew you’d find it stimulating.” 

 

 

“Bri, why don’t you go to Woodys tonight and have some fun. Go hang out with the guys. You’ve been looking after me every day you really haven’t had any time to yourself.” 

 

Brian thought about it. A beer or two would be nice. He really didn’t mind spending time looking after Justin but maybe the kid was right, he could use a break. 

 

“Are you sure?” 

 

“Yes, I don’t need a babysitter twenty four seven.” 

 

“How about you come with me?” 

 

Justin shook his head. “No, it’s too soon, you go, I’ll be fine.” 

 

Brian tugged on his boots. “Ok I’m gone but I’ll only stay a few hours ok?” 

 

“Sure whatever.” 

 

“I want you to call me if there is a problem, ok? If you get scared just call me and I’ll come back.” 

 

“I’ll be fine just go.” 

 

“Trying to get rid of me?” 

 

“Yeah I’m planning a threesome after you leave” Justin said sarcastically. 

 

“Condoms are in the bowl” Brian shot back. 

 

Brian was thoroughly bored at Woodies. Half the queer population had gathered to watch some dumb ass gay soap opera. It didn’t hold his attention. There was no sucking or fucking in it. It was like watching Ted’s life on the screen. Brian shuddered at the thought. Again the munchers brought up the stupid hero award he was suppose to accept. He didn’t want the fucking thing. He wasn’t a hero, just the opposite. He was the one that got Justin bashed in the first place and he sure as hell didn’t save him. He made some sarcastic remark about it being suck o’ rama at the Tool Shed and he couldn’t possibly make it. Then he left. 

 

Predictably Mikey was right on his heals as he left the bar. He needed to get back to Justin. Even though the teen put on a brave face for him he knew Justin couldn’t tolerate being left alone for long periods of time. 

 

“Brian wait up. Guess what I scored us?” 

 

“Uhh some really good E.” 

 

“No, passes to the comic book convention.” 

 

Brian groaned inwardly would Mikey never grow up. 

 

“So you’re coming right?” 

 

Brian stopped to light a cigarette. “I don’t know Mikey. I can’t really leave Justin alone for long periods of time or he starts freaking out, which is why I have to get back to the loft.” 

 

“Oh come on Brian” Mikey whined. “Justin is a big boy he can take care of himself. If you’re that worried about him drop him off at his mothers. Let her take care of him.” 

 

“She was the one who dumped him off on me. He’s my responsibility now. Look, I’m not going to get into this with you it’s none of your business. You’ll either see me or something came up.” 

 

Brian stalked off to his Jeep leaving his friend staring after his tail lights. 

 

Brian pulled the heavy loft door open and in his best falsetto called out “honey I’m home.” 

 

Justin leaped into his arms giving him a big kiss. 

 

“Miss me?” 

 

“Terribly, so did you have fun?” 

 

“Fuck I was so bored I should have stayed home with you. We could have found better ways to pass the time.” 

 

“We can start now.” Justin ground his hard on against Brian thigh. 

 

“You read my mind Sunshine.” 

 

Brian picked Justin up and carried him up to the bedroom where he tossed Justin on the bed and pounced on him. He absorbed most of the weight with his arms. He nuzzled his neck making Justin giggle. They rolled around on the bed fighting for dominance. Just as soon as Justin thought he was getting the upper hand Brian would pin him effectively in place with a leer. 

 

Brian pulled off Justin’s shirt. As they kissed Justin tore open Brian’s pants and pushed them down around his legs. Justin hungrily attacked Brian’s hard on. He ran his fingers through the blonde locks that were bobbing over his groin. Brian pulled him off and up to kiss him deeply, tasting their combined flavors. They quickly rid themselves of the rest of their clothes. 

 

“Roll over.” 

 

Justin eagerly complied, his ass twitching in anticipation. Brian brought him up on his knees, ass in the air and head down. Justin heard the snap of the lube cap opening. Soon Brian’s long digit was entering him. Justin moaned and pushed back. 

 

“You like that? Me finger fucking you.” 

 

“Yes, more ahh don’t stop Bri.” 

 

Brian fingered his rosy hole. When his fingers left him Justin whimpered. He was soon filled with Brian’s condom covered cock. Brian thrust into him. They began to move together intensifying the pleasure. Brian’s hand wandered over Justin’s slick chest. He tugged on the golden hoop through Justin’s nipple, creating moans that Brian thought of as music. Brian swiveled his hips dragging his cock head against Justin’s prostate. His hand traveled down to Justin’s freely leaking cock and began to jack him off in time to his thrusts. Their hips blurred as they sought completion. They came within seconds of each other crying out the others name. After Brian pulled out and disposed of the condom they lay in a sweaty heap. All bad dreams banished for the night. 

 

 

Justin clutched Brian’s arm in a vice like grip as he lead him down the sidewalk. He hated these walks but knew they were necessary. He needed to get over his little phobia and on with his life. Justin was grateful that Brian cared as much as he did and put up with him. 

 

“Ow!” Brian tried to loosen the death grip Justin had on his arm. 

 

“Sorry” Justin loosened his hold a little. 

 

“It’s ok, do you wanna go back?” 

 

This walk was farther than all there previous ones. 

 

“No.” 

 

“Are you sure?” 

 

“Yeah look no hands.” 

 

Justin let go of Brian’s arm and held them up smiling slightly. Just then a stranger bumped into him and he felt a jolt of fear and anger. 

 

“Don’t touch me fucker!” 

 

Brian pulled him close and wrapped both arms around him steering him over to a less crowded spot. 

 

“It’s ok, it’s ok, it’s ok, Don’t let it throw ya.” 

 

Justin sank into the warm comforting arms. 

 

“I think you’ve had enough for today. Let’s head back.” 

 

 

Brian decided to treat Justin to a full body massage. After there walks Justin was usually very tense. It kept Brian thinking up new and creative ways to relax Justin. 

 

Justin stretched out naked on the bed resting on his stomach. His head rested on his crossed arms. Brian straddled him sitting on his legs. Brian uncapped the oil. Justin’s nose twitched as the smell of a Hawaiian paradise filled the air. It smelt like a spring breeze with coconuts and flowers in the air. Brian heated the oil between his large palms. He kneaded Justin’s shoulders working out all the stiff knots and tension. 

 

His fingers trailed down Justin’s spine till his hands came to Justin’s cheeks. Brian palmed the perfect ass squeezing and kneading it. He leaned over and rained kisses on it. Justin sighed in contentment. Brian parted his cheeks and breathed hot air against his quivering hole. He moved down and started work on his thighs. They were creamy soft and parted of there own free will. Justin wiggled slightly rubbing his erection against the cool sheets. Brian caressed his ankles and massaged his feet which tickled and made him laugh. 

 

Brian rolled Justin over sitting on his upper thighs. Justin’s cock was erect and saluting him. The tip weeping glistening strands of pre cum. He gently caressed Justin’s face, leaning over he placed a kiss on his slightly parted mouth. His hands splayed over Justin’s young hairless chest, tweaking the rosy nipples till they were hard little buds. Brian leaned in for a leisurely lap. With a little more oil Brian massaged Justin’s balls. He rolled them around in his hand till they were shiny from the oil. Justin was writhing on the bed clutching the sheets and trying to fuck the air with his thrusts. Brian held Justin’s hips steady and took the tip within his mouth. He rolled his tongue around the blunt cap. He leisurely licked the underneath and let his tongue trace the veins along the shaft. Brian swallowed the shaft hungrily. He loved the taste of Justin. There was nothing else like it. 

 

His tongue licked at his slit willing to give him what he craved. Soon his tongue felt a small trickle of semen bathe his tongue. It was just a little taste of what was to come. Seconds later Brian’s mouth was flooded with Justin’s salty sweet cum. He swallowed quickly milking every last drop he could. When no more was forth coming he let Justin’s dick slip free of his mouth and rested his head on Justin’s stomach. He felt fingers run through his hair caressing his scalp. 

 

 

The day had come for Justin to resume working at the Liberty Diner. He had mixed feelings about it. He missed Debbie and he wanted to get back to his old life. It remained to be seen though if he could actually be around people with out freaking out. Brian was being wonderful about the whole thing. He always took his needs into consideration. 

 

Brian had talked to Debbie and he was all set to start working the after breakfast rush. He figured it would be best to start out slow when there would be hardly any people to wait on. Debbie would only let him work a few hours so as not to tire him and he was to depend on others to help carry stuff so he wouldn’t over work his hand. Brian went to the diner with him. He said he’d grab an early lunch but he couldn’t fool Justin. He’d sit there the entire time eating barley, keeping an eye on him. He’d make sure he was ok and see how he would do. In some ways Justin was grateful for his subtleness. He’d appear to others as normal while only Brian and himself would know what it took just to make it through the day with out totally falling apart. 

 

They walked into the diner and Debbie was rushing over to Justin crushing him in a big hug. 

 

“Sunshine! Glad to have you back we all missed you.” Debbie’s voice got louder as she addressed the few people who were there. “Hey everyone Sunshine is officially back.” 

 

Justin got a round of applause. He smiled and blushed. 

 

“Now get your bubble butt in gear there’s work to be done.” 

 

Brian was seated at the counter amusing himself with the local fag rag. Justin put on his apron and got to work. He awkwardly poured Brian a cup of coffee with his left hand before he moved on to more challenging duties. 

 

As Justin waited on the other customers he over heard the gang go on about an article that was written about Brian. He wanted to strangle Bellweather. He all but slandered Brian’s name. The absolute worst was the article made Brian out to be a child molester. Brian said very little. He joked about it and pretended to be very pissed off that the paper got his age wrong. Actually he probably was very pissed off about that. He was very sensitive about his age. 

 

Justin’s hand was tiring and he slopped Mikey’s water. They both sopped up the mess. 

 

“Hey Justin you wouldn’t mind if Brian comes to a comic book convention with me do you?” 

 

“No, why would I?” 

 

“Well Brian made it sound like he couldn’t leave you alone, that you’d be too scared on your own.” 

 

Justin ground his teeth at this. Mikey was making him sound like a little kid who couldn’t take care of himself. 

 

Justin kept a cool tone. ”Brian is free to do what ever he wants.” 

 

Mikey smiled gleefully at Brian. “Ya hear that Brian you don’t have to stay with him. You’re free.” 

 

“Woo fucking hoo.” Brian said sarcastically. 

 

Justin stormed off to the kitchen. 

 

Brian shook his head at his friends callousness. “Whatever the fuck.” 

 

Justin’s short shift was almost over. He only worked three hours but he was exhausted and his hand was starting to tremble. As Justin made change for a customer their hands accidentally touched. Justin jerked back his hand like he’d been shocked. He dropped the money and the change bounced along the counter. Brian watched the whole incident as Debbie passed by he stopped her. 

 

“Deb Have someone else do the money, strangers touching him is still a problem for him.” 

 

“Well I’ll be, Kinney gives a fuck about someone besides himself.” 

 

“He just shouldn’t have to go through any unnecessary struggles, he’s been through a lot, more than you can ever know.” 

 

“Duly noted.” 

 

Justin called it quits for the day and sank into the booth that Brian had claimed later when he ordered his dry ass turkey sandwich still half uneaten. Brian propped his leg on the bench and Justin slid between his legs. He rested against Brian’s chest. Brian’s arm curled around him protectively. Debbie brought him a soda and he drank it gratefully. The cold drink revived him a little. 

 

“Hard day?” 

 

“A little, it’ll get easer after awhile I hope.” 

 

“Sure it will give it time.” 

 

“Bri, can we go home now? I think I feel a headache coming on.” 

 

“Yeah let’s get you back to my place.” 

 

By the time he got Justin up to the loft he was leaning heavily on Brian. By the pained expression on Justin’s face it was a bad one. He got him up to the bedroom. Justin sunk down to the bed quietly whimpering. Brian retrieved his pills and some water. He helped Justin to sit up so he could take a pill. Then he set about making the loft as dark and as quiet as possible. He turned off all the phones insuring they wouldn’t be disturbed. When he entered the bedroom Justin was curled in a little ball on the bed. He was rocking slightly and holding his head. His face was buried in a pillow. Brian grabbed his feet and pulled off his shoes and gently undressed him. He crawled up next to Justin to hold him. 

 

Justin whispered “oh God make it stop, make it stop.” 

 

Brian rubbed his back in slow soothing circles. He also made little circles against Justin’s neck with his thumb which always relaxed the boy. Justin was in so much pain tears streamed down his face. Brian wished he could take the pain away. He would gladly take the pain into himself just so Justin could be spared. Brian did the only thing he could do. He held him until the pain medication kicked in and the pain lessened. Justin fell asleep in his arms. Long after Justin had fallen asleep Brian still lay awake watching over his boy. 

 

 

It took a while but Brian was confident Justin was ready to walk through the crowds on his own. The day before he explained to Justin what they would do. He would stand several hundred yards away and Justin would have to walk to him. Brian would keep an eye on him the whole time and if he couldn’t handle it Brian would be able to get to him quickly. 

 

Brian stood on the sidewalk waiting for his boy to come to him. He was glad it was a sunny day so he could wear his trendy sunglasses. They hid the tired eyes smudged with dark circles that he’d been covering religiously. What sleep he got was broken up by Justin’s nightmares. Sometimes the boy was plagued with nightmares all night long. Brian could see Justin slowly make his way towards him. Brian watched him anxiously. 

 

Justin took a deep breath and willed himself to be calm. Brian was near and he wouldn’t let anything happen to him. It made Justin anxious that he couldn’t see Brian from where he stood, there were too many people. He felt shaky and nauseous but he had to this for himself and he didn’t want to disappoint Brian. Justin slowly made his way through the crowd. He was concentrating so hard it all didn’t seem real. He faltered, flinching away from someone that had passed by to close. Justin stopped and closed his eyes taking a deep breath and getting his bearings. 

 

Brian’s muscles tensed when he saw Justin falter. “Come on Sonny boy.” 

 

Justin looked up and he could see Brian with his arms held out to him. He just had to make it a little bit further. More than anything he needed Brian’s arms around him. He smiled confidently walking toward Brian, and then those arms were holding him tight. Justin’s arms trembled slightly around Brian’s neck from relief and pent up exhaustion. 

 

“I wasn’t sure I could do it” Justin admitted. 

 

“I was.” 

 

Holding him in his arms Brian kissed him. He was so proud of Justin. 

 

Justin smiled “what was that for?” 

 

Brian teased “you know how much I love sex in public places.” 

 

He challenged him with a look. “Then suck me off right here right now in broad daylight.” 

 

Brian smirked, holding him close. “Wow you are improving nicely.” 

 

“Bad as new” Justin beamed. 

 

“One step at a time, first we walk back to my place then I suck you off.” 

 

“I can do it by myself.” 

 

Brian looked at him skeptically. “You can give yourself head?” 

 

“No, I can walk back without a chaperone.” 

 

“Your not trying to lose me are ya?” 

 

“Mmm hmm, now I’m sick of you always following me around. Don’t you have any friends your own age?” 

 

Brian could hear the teasing note in his voice. “Yeah but none of them adore me as much as you do.” 

 

“I can think of one that does. Anyway you have a big important fundraiser to attend.” 

 

“Oh you mean a boring insignificant waste of my time.” 

 

Justin stroked his face. “You’re a hero no matter what anyone says.” Justin kissed him trying to make him feel the depth of his words. 

 

“Thank you for the standing ovation.” 

 

Justin steals himself prepared to walk back to the loft alone. “Ok here goes, later.” 

 

Justin hangs on to his hand till he has to let go. 

 

“Later.” 

 

Brian watched Justin walk away from him. In that moment he made a decision. He let Justin get a good head start then followed him, making sure he got back to the loft alright. 

 

Justin hadn’t been at the loft long when Brian came in. He figured he must have followed him. 

 

“Brian what are you doing here? I told you I don’t need a chaperone. Did you think I wouldn’t be able to do it?” 

 

“Well for one I live here and of course I knew you’d be able to walk back. I seem to remember I promised you a blow job after we got back and I always keep my promises.” 

 

Justin smiled what about the awards banquet?” 

 

Brian crossed the loft to where Justin stood. “I’m right where I want to be.” 

 

Brian slipped a hand around his neck and pulled him into a deep kiss. “I’m proud of you Justin. You did great out there today.” 

 

Justin tugged him into the bedroom. “Well since you’re here I’d like my blow job now.” 

 

Brian gave him a tongue in cheek smirk and pushed him back on the bed. He tore off Justin’s cargo pants. Brian crawled like a panther between Justin’s splayed legs. They locked eyes as Brian took the tip between his red lips. He curled his tongue and laved the sensitive tip. He slid his mouth down the shaft till his nose was buried in Justin’s golden pelt. His nostrils faired as he breathed in his boys scent. Brian worshiped Justin’s cock till the teen was writhing on the bed. Brian stiffened his tongue and tapped the tip of Justin’s cock. Each tap sent a shock wave through Justin’s entire body. Little did Justin know Brian was tapping in Morse code. He tapped out I love you. Justin came in great gushes down Brian’s throat, which he eagerly swallowed. A mutual blow job and several fucks later Justin looked at the clock. 

 

“Bri you missed getting your award.” 

 

“I don’t want it. I have what I want right here.” He pulled Justin closer to him. 

 

“If you leave now you could still make some of the comic book convention.” 

 

“Mikey’ll understand.” 

 

“He just wants to hang out with you Brian. He’s expecting you.” 

 

“Fine I’ll go.” 

 

“Good boy.” 

 

“I’d take that back if I were you.” Brian said as he tugged on his clothes from earlier. 

 

Brian leaned over and brushed a kiss across Justin’s lips. “Keep my spot warm.” 

 

“Have a good time.” 

 

Justin heard Brian snort then the loft door slid shut with a bang.


	3. The Art Of Healing

The big pride parade was coming up and Justin was genuinely looking forward to going. It would be his first one and he was excited about going. He couldn’t believe Brian was actually going. Parades seemed like it would appear somewhere on the long list of things Brian Kinney didn’t do. Justin wasn’t concerned with the large crowds that would be there. His walks with Brian really helped and he didn’t thing he’d have any problems. Things were going pretty well for him one might say almost to well but he didn’t dwell on that. Brian was going back to work. He already had client meetings he had to attend to. 

 

Since Brian had a lot of work to catch up on their morning shower was quick but still productive. They both got their morning intake of a high protein shake. Debbie expected Justin to help paint signs for the parade even thought his hand still wasn’t working properly. No one dared to tell Debbie no. 

 

On his way to work Brian dropped Justin off at the GLC center. Brian wasn’t overly worried about Justin. He’d be safe at the center and all his friends would be there. Debbie and his mother would look out for him. Before he unsnapped Justin’s seatbelt he wanted to make sure Justin knew he could call him. 

 

“Look Justin I’m going to be in meetings all day but I want you to call me if you need me for anything, it doesn’t matter what. I’ve instructed Cynthia to put all your calls through. I’ll have my cell phone with me at all times.” 

 

“I’ll be fine Brian.” 

 

Brian ran his fingers over Justin’s hand. “I know you will.” 

 

Brian released the seat belt. He pulled Justin in for one last kiss. “Don’t work your hand to hard.” 

 

Justin smiled “I wont, later.” 

 

“Later.” 

 

 

Even though he was using a big brush to paint with it was still awkward to control. He had to brace his right wrist to control the brush, although it wasn’t helping much. What he painted so far looked like a child’s finger painting. He knew it didn’t have to look good. It was just a sign not a work of art but it showed just how very far he had yet to go. Vic and Michael were working on there own projects next to him. 

 

“Brian’s been helping me with my hand exercises.” He swirled more paint around on his sign. 

 

Michael snorted “Yeah I’ll bet, squeeze tighter pull harder.” 

 

Justin got him back by smearing paint on his face. 

 

“Hey!” 

 

Although Justin had to admit to himself that Michael wasn’t so far off. Brian believed in making his therapy fun. Brian was always coming up with new ways to exercise his hand and get off at the same time. Life with Brian was never dull. 

 

“Big day tomorrow” Vic commented. 

 

Justin smiled “yeah I can’t wait, my first pride it’s exciting.” 

 

“Your first time usually is.” 

 

Debbie and his mother made a big show of presenting the big PFLAG banner, everyone clapped and cheered. Debbie showed off her new specialty t shirt. This one said ‘I’m proud of my gay son.’ Justin turned on his mother. 

 

“Swear to me you didn’t get one too.” 

 

She patted his shoulder. “No I wouldn’t do that to you.” 

 

“Just as long as you’re not advertising it on a shirt.” 

 

Debbie looked over the work he’d done on the sign. “Keep up the good work Sunshine, it’s looking great!” 

 

Justin struggled on with the painfully slow work he was doing. It took a lot of effort to even remotely be able to control the brush just a little. 

 

 

Justin went with Emmett to the hospice. They were becoming good friends and Em needed a friend right now. It’s awful to loose a friend. He’d let him talk, he was a good listener. Emmett shared some of his memories of Godiva with him as they packed up the belongings that were left behind. 

 

Justin left Emmett alone with his memories. He’d go wait downstairs and let Em finish up in peace. He walked down the wooden stairs and rounded the corner. He stopped abruptly. His breath caught in his chest and a jolt of fear hit him. He must be dreaming cuz Chris Hobbs couldn’t be standing in front of him. Flashes of the pain he felt hit him full force. Hobbs looked up from his mopping. Justin could feel the hate in Chris’ gaze. Felt it stick to his skin like sludge. 

 

Justin found his voice. “What are you doing here?” 

 

“Having a blast, time of my life. My five hundred hours of community service. What the fuck do you think?” Chris moved closer invading Justin’s space. “What about you? Got AIDS?” 

 

“No.” 

 

Chris moved up into Justin’s face. Justin was pressed into the wall. He wanted to get away but he couldn’t move he was terrified of what Chris might do. 

 

“You will sooner or later. All you fags end up here. I bet you’re a real party girl. Huh are you?” 

 

“Leave me alone.” 

 

Chris was so close he could feel his breath on his face but he was to crafty to actually touch Justin. It would mean more hours or worse. So he used words to hurt instead of his hands. 

 

“Yeah I think you are a party girl. I hope you get AIDS and die.” 

 

“Just leave me alone” Justin whispered. 

 

He found his voice then and yelled for Emmett. The terror in his voice rang through the hallowed halls of the hospice. Emmett hurried down the stairs to find Justin huddled in the corner rocking slowly, tears stained his cheeks. 

 

“Honey what’s wrong? What happened?” 

 

“I saw him, he’s here. I need Brian.” 

 

Emmett sat down next to Justin on the floor. “Ok sweetie hang in there. I’ll call him.” Emmett dug out his cell phone. “Brian, Justin needs you he had some kind of panic attack.” 

 

“What the fuck happened?” 

 

“I don’t know he was fine when he left the room.” 

 

“You shouldn’t have left him alone. Even I can keep him in sight at all times. I’m coming there.” 

 

“Don’t bother just meet him at the loft, I’ll take him there. I think he wants to get out of here as fast as possible.” 

 

“Let me talk to him for a minute.” 

 

Emmett passed the phone over to Justin who took it in his trembling hand. 

 

“Justin are you alright?” 

 

“I’m ok I just really need you.” 

 

“Ok I’m on my way. I’ll meet you at the loft. I’ll be there as fast as I can. Hang in there baby.” 

 

When Brian got to the loft Justin was already there. He sat in the middle of the bed squeezing his bear to his chest. Justin looked like a little boy and Brian wanted to make it all better. 

 

“Sorry I had to call you away from work.” 

 

Brian kicked off his shoes and joined Justin on the bed, pulling him into his arms. 

 

“You’re what’s important right now, what happened?” 

 

“I saw Chris Hobbs he was at the hospice.” 

 

”What the fuck was he doing there?” 

 

“That’s where they assigned him his community service.” 

 

Brian rubbed his temples fighting off a headache. “Did he do anything?” 

 

“He said that he hopes I get AIDS and die.” 

 

Justin buried his face in Brian’s shirt taking comfort in the smell of his lover. Brian held him tighter as the sobs wracked Justin’s small frame. 

 

“I hate that he makes me so scared. I was fucking terrified Brian. He ruined my life I’ll never be the same again. He took a part of me and smashed it. It’s broken beyond repair.” 

 

“Just forget him he’s not worth it he’s scum. You need to get some sleep you have a big day tomorrow.” 

 

“I’m not going.” 

 

“And miss you first pride?” 

 

“What am I suppose to be proud of? That I got bashed and didn’t die.” 

 

Brian held him by the shoulders looking him in the eye. “Justin don’t let him do this to you, don’t let him win. You’re giving him the power to hurt you over and over. You have to stop being afraid and live your life. If you live in fear he wins, don’t let him.” 

 

“It’s easy for you to say.” 

 

“Hey who said it was going to be easy? You’re not alone though. I’ll be with you every step of the way.” 

 

That night Justin fell into a restless sleep. He tossed and turned struggling with the sheets. He dreamed of Chris Hobbs beating him to death. He woke up screaming. The sheets tangled around him and damp with sweat. Brian did his best to calm him down. 

 

They were both grumpy the next day from lack of sleep and the high stress factor. Brian insisted that they go to the parade. Justin grudgingly went along. Brian was always resourceful at getting Justin to do what ever he wanted. The noise and the garish colors assaulted Justin’s senses. He didn’t know what to expect at the parade but nothing could prepare him for the sights he saw. He sat beside Brian in a brooding mood. 

 

“Brian I don’t want to be here.” 

 

“Well you’re here and you’re queer so enjoy it.” He patted his leg.

 

“It’s just a big freak show.” 

 

“Well what did you expect that you would find pride at the parade?” 

 

“So what the fuck are we doing here?” 

 

“Were just making sure Chris Hobbs doesn’t win. Now you should go march with your Mommy.” 

 

Justin noticed that the PFLAF group was making it’s way toward him. He got up and joined his mother. He held her hand and actually smiled. When he looked over at Brian he noticed he had Gus. They were both cheering him on. Justin smiled to himself. Brian must be so pissed that Lindsay stuck him with watching Gus. Now he was sure not to get laid. 

 

“I had no idea there were so many” Jennifer commented. 

 

“Queers.”

 

“People, I’m proud of you Justin.” 

 

“I’m proud of you too mom.” 

 

Justin relaxed and started to actually enjoy the parade. He thought about all that had happened in the last year. It hadn’t been easy but he’d made it here to this moment. He felt he was a better person for it. He had new friends and Brian. His mother accepted him for who he was. His life had changed drastically once he set foot on Liberty Ave. 

 

Justin almost fell to the pavement laughing when he saw Michael in drag walking with Debbie. He hoped someone had a camera. He definitely wanted pictures. He’d have something to hold over Michael’s head when he got out of line, which was every other day. Between Debbie and his mother they kept him busy most of the day. He didn’t get to see Brian until much later at Woodys. 

 

 

Brian and Justin sat at the bar. The place was packed wall to wall with hot guys. Brian had bought Justin a drink. 

 

“I’ll be glad when pride is over so we can all go back to being ashamed.” 

 

Justin laughed “Your just grumpy cuz you had to look after Gus all day and no one hit on you.” 

 

Brian gave him a disgusted look. “Plenty of people hit on me unfortunately they all happen to be lesbians wanting my sperm.” 

 

Justin noticed the guy cruising Brian. “Here’s your chance it’s not to late.” 

 

Brian checked out the guy. Justin placed a kiss on his shoulder. 

 

“Where are you going?” 

 

Justin started to walk away. “I’m leaving you to your wicked ways. Go find a stud and ask him to dance.” 

 

As Justin left Woodys Brian made a quick decision and left to find Justin. So as not to startle Justin he lightly tapped him on the shoulder. 

 

“Hey stud you wanna dance?” 

 

“You’re kidding me right?” 

 

Brian looks at him with a boyish gleam in his eyes. “I promise you won’t forget this one.” 

 

Brian took him by the hand and led him out into the street where it has been blocked off for dancing. They wrap their arms around each other and move to the music of ABBA. They made a beautiful couple smiling and kissing. Lust is in the air. They dance several more dances when things start to heat up. Justin had been hard for a while and Brian was more than ready too. Brian took his hand and they ran to the Jeep. 

 

Once inside Brian kissed Justin deeply. He moved his seat back as far as it would go. Since the Jeep was parked near an alley it was somewhat secluded. Justin wiggled out of his pants and climbed over the gearshift to sit on Brian’s lap. He opened up Brian’s pants and started to stroke him. Brian spread his legs to give Justin more room. Justin placed his hands on Brian’s shoulders and ground his hips against Brian’s groin. 

 

“I’m so fucking hard right now.” 

 

“Fuck me Brian right here right now.” 

 

Brian reached over and opened the glove compartment and grabbed lube and a condom. While Justin put the condom on Brian, he lubed his finger letting it find Justin’s hole. Justin gasped as the finger invaded him. When he was open and ready he lifted up a little bit while Brian placed his cock at his entrance. He slowly sat down impaling himself. His movement was restricted but he had just enough leverage that had them both gasping in pleasure. When they came their moans were covered up by the loud music and celebrations. 

 

They straitened their clothes as best they could. Brian broke the speed limit getting back to the loft where they spent the rest of the night fucking like rabbits on speed.


	4. The Art Of Healing

It was the night before Justin’s first day of college. He was pretty nervous about starting. The classes would be challenging and he still couldn’t hold on to a pencil for very long much less draw anything of substance. He distracted himself by giving Brian a spectacular blow job. Brian was moaning and panting, really getting into it. He wasn’t accurately clocking it but he figured he made Brian cum hard in under five minutes. Brian loved his blow jobs. He even said once that his were some of the best he’d ever had. Brian kissed Justin’s neck and then proceeded to reciprocate the attention that his dick had received. 

 

“Ah no, no that was just for you.” Justin put a hand to his shoulder stopping him. 

 

“Since when do you turn down getting your dick sucked?” 

 

“Since tomorrow is a big day and I have to save my energy for my art.” 

 

He rolled out of bed. “What do you call what were doing?” 

 

“I promise I’ll let you blow me tomorrow night.” 

 

Brian called over his shoulder while taking a piss. “Yeah well who says I’ll be in the mood.” 

 

Justin grabs his sketch pad and again tried to attempt the drawing he’d been secretly working on. Looking at it he knew it was a piece of crap. His hand immediately began shaking all over the page. There was pain in his hand. He stretched his fingers out but id didn’t help the shaking. Brian came back and he covered the pad protectively. 

 

“Drawing my cock again?” 

 

“Just doodling.” 

 

Brian flopped down on the bed. He maneuvered his head under the pad of paper and began to suck Justin off. 

 

When Justin felt Brian’s mouth on him he asked. “What are you doing?” 

 

His words were thrown back at him. “Just doodling.” 

 

Brian licked a particularly sensitive spot and Justin thought ‘fuck it’ it felt too good to make Brian stop. He laid back and enjoyed receiving Brian’s special attentions. He felt himself cuming when Brian’s tongue lingered along his slit. 

 

Art class was exciting and horrible all in one. It was exciting to be there. The smell of art supplies overjoyed Justin. He was ready and willing to draw wonderful things. The horrible part was he wasn’t able to. His drawing was painfully slow. There was no way he’d be able to keep up with the rest of the class. His hand ached and he was probably overdoing it. He lost control of his hand under the professor’s supervision. 

 

Justin stayed late after class to keep working on his drawing. He didn’t want to give up but it was looking hopeless. Then his day got even worse when the dean came to see him and voiced his concerns and Justin’s deepest fears. It was a very strenuous program and with his hand still recovering. He may have to reconsider weather or not he could meet their requirements. After the dean left Justin looked at his drawing sadly. His hand shook as he dropped his piece of charcoal. He quit in defeat. 

 

 

Justin entered Babylon for the first time after the bashing. He was already flying high. He thought he may have doubled up on his pain meds but he couldn’t remember and he didn’t care. He was feeling good. He bounced his way over to Brian and the gang. 

 

“Hey.” 

 

“Hey yourself.” They kissed a friendly hello. “Why aren’t you at home packing your lunch box for school tomorrow?” 

 

“I don’t need to I’m not going, I quit.” 

 

“You what?” Emmett asked shocked. 

 

“What for?” Ted asked just as shocked. 

 

“I can’t draw anymore so what’s the point in wasting my time when I can be here popping pills and drinking, sticking my gimp hand down guys pants.” Justin searches the crowd and snags a guy by the waistband. “You wanna dance?” 

 

“Fuck yeah!” 

 

Justin laughs “that was going to be my next question.” 

 

Justin leads him away on the dance floor. He began dancing but he’s not very into it. 

 

“What’s that all about?” Mikey asks looking in the direction Justin left with the trick. 

 

“Pain management.” 

 

Brian broke away from the group and went after Justin. He pushed the trick aside. “Fuck off.” 

 

The trick left with no protest. Brian put his arms around Justin and they began to dance. Justin laid his head against Brian’s chest. 

 

“Let me guess rough day?” 

 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” 

 

“Ok you wanna get out of here? You don’t look so well.” 

 

“Yeah it’s to hot in here.” 

 

Brian led him outside. The cool night air felt good. There was a light sheen of sweat on Justin’s skin. Brian took him home and put him to bed. The kid was having a rough time and he didn’t know how to make it better. 

 

 

Brian thought he had the solution to Justin’s problems. When he saw that graphics computer at work he knew he had to get one for Justin. It cost a mint but Justin was worth it. It would be worth it if he could get back his ability to draw. He had it set up and running no time. Justin was visiting Daphne. Maybe it would do him some good to talk to his best friend. Brian took out his frustrations on his body, working out till he was sweaty and exhausted. He picked himself off the floor when he heard the loft door open. Justin came staggering in obviously drunk.

 

“The lost boy returns.” 

 

Justin ignores him and heads to the fridge. He took out a water and poured it over his head in imitation of Brian on their first night. Brian dried him off with his towel. 

 

“Feeling better?” 

 

“Lots.” 

 

”How’s Daphne?” 

 

“She and her roommates had to study. Fortunately that’s not my problem. I went to Woodies and let guys buy me drinks. They all wanted to fuck me. At least I still have my looks. I told them no. I’m saving that for you.” Justin places kisses all over Brian. He kisses his neck, Brian pulls slightly away. 

 

“Aren’t you a sweetheart, later. Come see what I got you.” 

 

“What a new butt plug.” 

 

“Better, I saw it today at work.” 

 

Justin looked at the computer. He instantly turned cold. 

 

“I’m not interested.” 

 

“You don’t even know what it is.” 

 

“Sure I do it’s false hope.” 

 

Justin started stripping off his clothes and flinging them angrily everywhere. 

 

“You can draw with it, same as a pen or pencil just much easier to control. Stop being a fucking princess and come give it a try.” 

 

“What for? To make you happy, so that you can tell yourself you fixed little Justin’s problems and made everything all better. Well you can’t fix this no one can. 

 

“So your just gonna quit?” 

 

“It’s over alright, except it. I’m not gonna draw again and no fucking electronic crayola box is gonna fix that. So why don’t you come fuck me before I pass out?” 

 

Justin stormed off to the bedroom and flopped down on the bed. Brian sat where he was. He’d give himself and Justin a minute between rounds. Justin’s mood swings were really beginning to drive him crazy. Brian rubbed his aching temples before he entered the bedroom. He expected to find Justin pissed off. What he saw was Justin curled up in bed quietly sobbing. Brian sat down beside him and rubbed soothing circles on his back. 

 

“I’m so sorry Brian. I didn’t mean to take it out on you. I’m just so angry and frustrated. I feel like my fucking life is falling apart.” 

 

“It’s ok, I understand. You needed to vent, feel better?” 

 

Justin laughed “not really. Sometimes I wish Chris had killed me. When he took away my ability to draw it’s like he ripped out my soul. I don’t think I have to live if I can’t draw.” 

 

“You’ll draw again Justin. I’ll help you but fighting with me is not going to get you any closer to your goal.” 

 

“I know, thank you for the computer. I didn’t mean to be such a brat. It’s really expensive, you shouldn’t have.” 

 

“Justin I would do anything to get you to draw again even if it meant dropping a couple grand.” 

 

“I hope you can understand that I’m not ready for it yet. Give me some time then I’ll give it a try.” 

 

Brian pressed a kiss to his forehead. “It’ll be there waiting for you. I won’t push you but how about I give you a nudge every so often if you get off track?” 

 

Justin nodded “deal.” 

 

Brian tucked Justin in. He passed out from the combination of alcohol and mental exhaustion. Brian brushed his bangs away from his face and watched him sleep. 

 

 

Justin’s mood hadn’t really improved. He was slogging through his shift at the diner and he was getting tired. 

 

Emmett clinked his coffee cup with his fork. “Hey more coffee java boy.” 

 

Justin brought over the two pots holding them up for Emmett to choose. Unfortunately Emmett choose the one in his right hand. Justin started to pour the coffee but his hand started to tremble and he spilled some. At least no one got burned. 

 

Debbie came over concerned. “Maybe you should give your hand a rest Sunshine.” 

 

“Maybe you should mind your own fucking business.” 

 

Lindsay and Emmett looked on in shock. 

 

“What did you just say to me?” 

 

“You heard what I said.” 

 

“Yes I did, I just can’t believe it. Justin I know what happened to you sucks, but why don’t you let me lend a hand pouring the hot stuff ok?” 

 

He nodded. “Deb I’m sorry I talked to you like that. I’ve been taking it out on everyone lately. Last night Brian was the victim.” 

 

Debbie snorted. “That I would have liked to seen. Your forgiven this time but you do it again I’ll rip you a new butt hole.” 

 

Lindsay patted his shoulder. “Something tells me you need a break.” 

 

Justin smiled at her gratefully. 

 

 

Lindsay took him to an art gallery show. It was one of the last places he wanted to be. He didn’t want to be reminded that he no longer had the ability to draw. When he met Lindsay’s friend who also happened to be the artist who had done the paintings he knew what she was doing. It could have been a lot worse for him but it wasn’t. Adrienne could barely move at all and yet she was still an artist. It made him wonder what the hell he was complaining about. He couldn’t believe it when she gifted him with one of her paintings. He promised himself he’d put forth the effort to try harder. 

 

 

Justin sat on the couch with his legs draped over the arm staring at the painting he’d been given. He stared at it till the colors were a blur of meaningless color. As background noise he could hear the patter of Brian’s shower. He didn’t know how long he’d been sitting there but it felt like hours. He wanted so badly to start drawing, he just didn’t know how or where to start. 

 

Justin heard the shower turn off. Brian came out in nothing but a towel. Brian snagged a green apple and flopped down on the bed. He grabbed his switchblade and began to cut the apple. Justin watched him and the desire to draw him was burning inside. He got up and went over to the computer that was still turned on. He tentatively picked up the electronic pen and began the outlines of Brian’s body. At first it didn’t look like much but then it started to take shape. While it was different it really was art. 

 

Justin caught on to Brian fairly quickly. He knew what was going on. Brian was casually posing for him. He was eating that apple way to slowly and he avoided all eye contact with him, even though he was facing him. The way Brian casually glanced around the loft like no one was here was so fake. Justin wanted to laugh but he was in the zone. He was creating something and it would be special because it would be his first drawing. It would be something that he would always be proud of. 

 

He spent the next dew hours dabbling with his drawing, getting it just the way he liked it. Justin accustomed himself with the graphics programs that were installed by trial and error. Finally he was ready to call it a night and give Brian a reward for being such a good model. He stripped off his clothes as he headed for the bedroom. Brian finally let his gaze meet Justin’s as he entered the bedroom nude. 

 

“I’m so on to you. Who do you think you’re fooling? You just so happen to pose yourself on the bed and make an apple last for at least an hour.” 

 

Brian grinned up at him. “It worked didn’t it?” 

 

“What can I say I can’t resist your body.” 

 

Justin crawled on the bed. He pushed Brian onto his back and ripped open the towel. Justin leaned forward taking Brian’s dick between his parted lips. He deep throated Brian, could feel the tip of his cock against the back of his throat. He used his throat muscles to milk his cock. Justin brought Brian to the edge and then released his straining cock from the confines of his mouth. The spit slick shaft glistened under the blue lights. 

 

He settled himself on Brian’s thighs. Brian handed him a condom that Justin smoothed down his hard shaft. Justin’s hand snaked under a pillow to grab the lube. He coated his fingers, pressing first one then two fingers into his rosy hole. Justin put on a show for Brian. He played with his ass moaning as he found his sweet spot. 

 

Justin scooted forward and grasped Brian’s cock placing the tip at his willing hole. He pressed down till the tip was in and gave it a squeeze before plunging down the rest of the way filling himself with nine inches of hard cock. Justin set the pace with long even strokes. He tightened his muscles on every up stroke. Brian’s hands rested on Justin’s hips. Justin’s eyes fluttered shut as he took his dripping cock in his hand and matched the strokes of his ass to that of his hand. 

 

Justin could feel the familiar tingle begin in his ass Brian was close. He could feel Brian’s cock expanding in the walls of his hole. Just then Justin shot his load sending streams of cum shooting over Brian’s body. It splattered against his chest, neck and face. Justin’s ass clenched with his spasms. 

 

Brian shot his load with a roar. He felt like his spunk was rocket fuel. He never came so hard in his life. He felt some of his cum seep out of the opening. He’d filled it to capacity. Justin rolled off him and Brian took care of the very full condom. Under the sheets they gravitated back towards each other and fell blissfully asleep under the blue lights.


	5. The Art Of Healing

Justin had worked long and hard to get around enough drawings to resubmit into PIFA. He didn’t know if they would let him back in. The only way he was able to draw was by computer and he didn’t know if that would be good enough. He stood by nervously as the dean looked over his work. Justin tried to affect Brian’s cool as fuck attitude. He tried to act like it wasn’t life or death if he didn’t get in. Truth was, it did matter a lot. He could tell the dean was skeptical about his subject maters. Justin believed what finally got him in was he was totally honest. Yes, he could only work by computer but he could still learn new ways to be an artist. 

 

Brian and Justin arrived at Deb’s for ziti night. They were the last to arrive as usual. Every one else was already there. They took their places at the table side by side. Everyone was hoping there would be something to celebrate. Debbie was the first to cave. 

 

“So what did he say?” She piled Justin’s plate high with food. 

 

“Well it didn’t look to good at first but I guess some of the Kinney charm is rubbing off on me. My application was approved, he said I could stay.” 

 

Everyone cheered. The women all took turns kissing Justin’s cheeks. He smiled his brilliant smile. Brian wrapped an arm protectively around his shoulders. 

 

“What’s with all the kissing? You trying to turn him straight?” 

 

Brian leaned over and gave him a passionate kiss. He put on a show for everyone at the table. 

 

Debbie rolled her eyes. “Oh shit they're going to do it right here.” 

 

“I’ll get my camera” Vic announced. 

 

Michael was thoroughly disgusted. “Save it for Ted’s web site.” 

 

Brian broke off the kiss. “Don’t put ideas into the child’s head.” 

 

“Or mine” Vic murmured. 

 

The dinner conversation as per usual revolved around sex, much to Lindsay’s dislike. As Justin ate he felt Brian’s hand rest high on his thigh. He glanced over at Brian, he was pulling the innocent act. He was talking with Vic and eating the great food that Deb served. Then he felt Brian’s hand rest on his crotch. Justin jumped a little at the sudden sensation. He didn’t think anybody noticed although he wouldn’t be surprised if everyone knew what was going on at the table. Brian’s hand rested lightly there as a claim of ownership. He didn’t stroke or rub, it wasn’t his intention to give Justin a raging hard on. 

 

Justin relaxed against Brian’s hand. Brian’s warm hand felt good and there was just enough pressure to make it feel pleasant. He felt the slow burn in his cock. Justin felt all warm and tingly. He could feel his cum percolating in his balls. Justin cleared the table. Debbie tried to protest but he really didn’t mind cleaning up. 

 

“Brian would you grab that?” 

 

“That?” predictably Brian grabs his crotch causing him to jump a little. 

 

“Ahh not that, the platter please.” 

 

Justin went off to the kitchen with the dishes.” 

 

In his best falsetto he calls out “yes dear.” 

 

They meet in the kitchen to stack dishes in the sink, and then covertly slink away. They heard their so called friends start betting on how long their relationship would last. Justin couldn’t believe it. If they were going to talk about them they could at least make sure they couldn’t hear what they were saying. Brian kissed him softly. 

 

“Forget them they don’t know shit.” 

 

They ducked into the small bathroom and began to paw at each other like horny teenagers. They ground their cocks together. A wet spot was forming on Justin’s underwear from his leaking cock. Brian easily ripped open Justin’s pants and pulled out his straining cock. Justin’s pants pooled around his knees effectively trapping him. Brian turned him to face the sink. He could watch all of Brian’s movements in the mirror. Brian stripped off his pants and prepared his cock. Justin felt his hand pressing the middle of his back. He bent over the sink and held on to the ledge. 

 

Brian teases his quivering hole by slowly dragging the tip of his cock across it. Justin whimpered quietly in the back of his throat. He sighed in relief as he felt Brian entering him, filling him up. Brian’s hot breath caressed his neck and made the little hairs stick up. Justin reached back grabbing Brian’s ass to pull him closer. His cock grazes Justin’s prostate. Justin’s mouth drops open in pleasure. His breath fogs up the mirror. 

 

Brian fucked him hard and fast. He loved it rough like this sometimes. He pushed back on Brian meeting his hard strokes. The need to cum was overwhelming. Justin pumped his dick hard wanting to get off or burst in the process. Brian watched in the mirror and was so turned on by what he saw. Brian was hitting his prostate over and over, barely withdrawing just slamming into it. Justin squeezed his cock and he shot into the sink in front of him. Justin’s eyes are drawn back to the mirror as he watched Brian cum. It was beautiful to watch him. His head thrown back, mouth open gasping for air, eye’s closed. Brian clung to his sweaty chest as he rode out his orgasm. 

 

Afterwords Brian helped Justin clean up. They straighten their clothes and exited the bathroom not really giving a fuck if they get caught or not. Brian slung an arm around Justin and they headed back to the dining room. 

 

“Well it’s been fun but I have to put the boy to bed now, tomorrow’s a school day.” 

 

Debbie snorted “somehow I don’t think he’ll be getting any actual sleep in your bed.” 

 

“You say it like it’s a bad thing.” 

 

They said their goodbyes and headed back to the loft where Brian succeeded in making Justin cum again and again. 

 

 

Justin had the breakfast shift before class. He’d been bussing the last of the tables in preparation for leaving. He went behind the counter and refilled Mikey’s cup of coffee. Justin noticed that he was studying note cards. If he concentrated any harder he thought Mikey’s head might explode all over the diner. Justin grimaced at that thought. Yuck! Cleaning Mikey off the walls. 

 

“What’s that for?” 

 

Michael sighed putting the note cards down. “I’m suppose to give a lecture at a college on comic books.” 

 

“Huh really?” 

 

“What you don’t think I can do it?” Michael whined. 

 

Justin held up his hands defensively. “Not saying a word.” 

 

“So when are you moving back into Ma’s?” 

 

Justin frowned “what are you talking about?” 

 

“Well now that your better I thought you’d be moving out soon.” 

 

“I’m staying with Brian.” 

 

“Look Justin I’m sure Brian wants to get back to his old life. He only took you in because you got bashed and he feels guilty.” 

 

Justin fumed “look Michael, Brian hasn’t said a word to me about moving back out. If I’m not wanted then why am I still there?” 

 

“He’s probably figuring out a way to get you to leave without hurting your feelings.” 

 

Justin grabbed up his backpack. “I have to go. I’ll be late for class. Oh good luck on your lecture you’ll need it.” 

 

He slammed out of the diner angry at Michael. He wondered if there was any truth in what Michael had said, probably not but it still made him wonder. He didn’t like being a burden and he didn’t want to stay anywhere he wasn’t welcome. 

 

 

Brian came home from work tired. He could use a good relaxing fuck. He saw Justin drawing on his computer. He went straight to the bedroom to put on something casual. Brian came out wearing his tight black jeans and white wife beater. He walked up behind Justin, placed his hands on his shoulders and massaged the tight muscles. Brian hoped Justin could use a break. He draped his long arms across Justin’s chest. He kissed and nuzzled his neck while his hand rubbed at Justin’s stiffening cock. 

 

“Stop.” 

 

Brian knelt down by him. “Why got something better to do?” 

 

“Yeah homework.” 

 

“I’m insulted” Brian continued to kiss Justin’s neck and nip at the lobe of his ear. 

 

Justin pulled away. “Why am I here?” 

 

His tone was serious. Brian decided to lighten the mood with a joke. 

 

“One night your mommy and daddy wanted to make a baby.” 

 

Justin grew angry. “You know what I mean. Is it just because you feel guilty about what happened?” 

 

Brian said nothing for a moment. He didn’t know where this was coming from. 

 

“Answer me, answer me! If I hadn’t gotten bashed in the head would I even be here?” 

 

Brian looked away he really didn’t want to answer the question. In all likelihood Justin wouldn’t be living with him. Again Justin found himself living in the loft through a series of unfortunate consequences that weren’t his fault. 

 

Justin got up to walk away Brian grabbed his wrist. He sat down in the chair Justin vacated and pulled him down on his lap holding him there. 

 

“Your right, the reason I took you in was because you took a bat to the head but it’s not the reason I want you to stay. Don’t get the idea that we’re some married couple cuz we're not. We’re together because we want to be.” 

 

Justin settled back in his arms. 

 

“You really want me to stay here with you?” 

 

“I just said that didn’t I? Now what brought this craziness on?” 

 

“Michael was at the diner this morning. He asked when I was moving back in with Deb since I was all better. He said it would only be a matter of time before you asked me to move out, that you wanted to get back to your own life.” 

 

Brian seethed at Mikey’s cruelty. “Yeah well Mikey should mind his own business. What we do has nothing to do with him. He should stay out of it, but he likes to meddle too much. Wonder where he gets that from?” 

 

Justin laughed and wiggled on Brian’s lap to get more comfortable. 

 

“Well now that we got that all straightened out I can finish my drawing.” 

 

He picked up the pen and proceeded to drag it across the computer screen totally ignoring Brian. Well if Justin wanted to play it this way he’d just have to fight dirty. Brian rimmed Justin’s ear with the tip of his tongue. He knew this drove Justin crazy. He let his hand cup Justin’s crotch, caressing him through the soft material of his sweatpants. Justin was hard, he wouldn’t be denied much longer. 

 

Justin tried to concentrate on his drawing but Brian wasn’t making it easy. Really he was just toying with Brian, making him work for it. Brian was driving him crazy. It felt like he was sitting on a steel beam. Justin kept wiggling his ass creating a nice friction. He wanted Brian inside him. Brian’s hand on his crotch was sending electrical sparks through his groin that he couldn’t ignore. The rimming of his ear was just plain playing dirty. Justin dropped the pen.

 

“Fuck me Brian. I want you buried so deep in my ass that I’ll be able to taste you.” 

 

Brian wasted no time picking him up and carrying him to the bed where he proceeded to fuck him within an inch of both their lives. Justin would be feeling him for days. He felt like he ground his dick down to a nub, it actually felt numb. He pulled the sheets up over them. Brian spooned up against Justin. He wrapped an arm around his boy. He was lulled to sleep by the sound of Justin’s calm breathing.


	6. The Art Of Healing

The Infamous Rage Party 

 

Justin got the message that Brian was looking for him. He looked all around but couldn’t find him. That usually meant one thing that he was in the backroom. Justin prayed that he was wrong but his heart sank with despair and disappointment when he saw him fucking Rage. 

 

Justin left the backroom in a daze. He wanted to be away from the party, away from the situation, just away. People congratulated him. He did his best to smile. Then he spotted Ethan in the crowd and was instantly relieved. He smiled a genuine smile and made his way over. 

 

“I was practicing and it sounded like shit. Then I realized it’s all your fault.” 

 

“My fault?” 

 

“I tried to forget about you but I can’t your all I think about.” 

 

Brian comes out of the backroom and sees them together. Ethan kisses Justin hungrily. He sadly looks over his shoulder at Brian not sure that he will win Justin’s heart. Justin turns to see Brian. Brian gives him this weird little smile. Justin took Ethan’s hand and walked out of Babylon. 

 

Trixie watched the whole exchange from her little corner of Babylon. It was to horrible to watch but it was like a car accident you just couldn’t turn away. She knew something wasn’t right. She liked Justin, he was a good kid. She’d check on him to make sure he was ok. She left the building searching for them. She found Justin in a state of distress. Ethan was hovering way to close. 

 

“Back off!” She snarled and pushed him aside giving Justin air. He was having a panic attack. 

 

“Hey I’m his boyfriend!” 

 

Trixie rolled her eyes in disgust. “Funny I thought you were playing second fiddle to Brian.” 

 

She gave Justin room to breathe but had her arms out incase he collapsed. 

 

Trixie whispered “Justin, relax honey breathe ok.” 

 

“I can’t do this” Justin whimpered. 

 

Trixie slowly put her arm around him. “I’ll take you wherever you want to go.” 

 

Justin looked at her helplessly. 

 

“I can take care of him” Ethan insisted. 

 

“Obviously you can’t. Did you even know he suffered from panic attacks?” 

 

“No” he admitted. 

 

“You don’t even know who he is do you?” 

 

“What’s that suppose to mean?” 

 

“My point exactly, if you knew about him you’d know his medical condition. Even a fag hag, dominatrics slut, drug dealer like myself knows more about him than you do.” She hailed a cab. “He’s Justin fucking Taylor thats who.” She maneuvered Justin into the cab. She’d get things patched up. “Take us to 6 Fuller on the corner of Tremont.” 

 

She took out her cell phone and pressed one that automatically dialed Brian’s cell phone. She hoped he had it with him. The only reason she had his number programmed was he was her best customer. With the amount of money he gave her she just might go to college yet. 

 

Brian felt his phone vibrate. He checked the display it was Trixie. He moved someplace quieter to take the call. 

 

“Brian it’s Trixie get your ass back to the loft now Justin needs you.” 

 

“How can he need me when he left for another guy?” 

 

“No he didn’t. He got outside and had a panic attack he’s in a cab with me now. Meet us at the loft or you will feel my wrath.” 

 

“I’m on my way.” 

 

“Good boy.” 

 

Trixie stayed with Justin till Brian arrived. He’d been real quiet and hadn’t said a word. They sat holding hands so he could take comfort form the contact. When Brian arrived she kissed Justin on the cheek. 

 

“Trixie, thanks and you’re not a slut.” 

 

“Anytime Justin.” She thought for a moment then whispered to him. “Anytime you need a place to stay you're always welcome.” 

 

As she left she gave Brian a look that said you better work this out and not fuck things up. 

 

Justin’s shoulders shook with the force of his sobs. He was tired and didn’t know what to do. He had screwed everything up. 

 

“Justin what’s wrong?” 

 

“I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t leave you.” 

 

Brian stood there rooted to the floor. Justin curled up on the couch. 

 

“Brian I need you, I want you. I screwed up and you’ll probably never forgive me.” 

 

He went over to Justin and held him. 

 

“Your to hard on yourself. There’s enough blame to go around for everyone.” 

 

Brian thumbed away his tears. 

 

Justin whimpered as he tried to get out the words. “Remember you said it was my choice where I wanted to be. I choose you Brian, I choose you.” 

 

“Are you sure?” 

 

“I’ve never been more sure about anything. Things will never be the same though. How can you ever trust me again when I cheated on you?” 

 

“Trust is something that is earned over time. I’m sure there’s something where I still need to earn your trust.” 

 

“Do you want me to move out until things aren’t so complicated?” 

 

Brian chuckled. “When haven’t they been complicated? Why don’t we just take it slowly and decide as we go along ok?” 

 

“Yeah ok.” 

 

Justin put his head on Brian’s shoulder. 

 

Brian whispered into his hair. “You asked me once if I’d miss you if you were gone, if I’d care. Truth is I can’t live without you Justin. I’d miss you very much and I never want to find out what living without you is like.” 

 

“Me either.” 

 

Justin snuggled into the warm confines of Brian’s arms. They wrapped their arms around each other and held on for dear life, both terrified of what might have been.


End file.
